How to be flirty - for single Latter-day Saints.
When it comes to flirting, the concept can seem intimidating. Even for seasoned single Latter-day Saints or those who are confident enough to easily open a conversation with someone new, the element of the unknown is significant. For those who are fresh to the LDS singles scene, even the idea of flirting can be overwhelming, let alone knowing how to be flirty.
Sometimes, the word 'flirting' itself causes more problems than it solves. The term itself can seem inaccessible. It can even seem difficult to unpack for a novice in terms of kneeing what ‘counts’ as flirting or not. When we remove the unnecessary limits of what flirting ‘should’ look like then we can free ourselves to view it simply as the opening of a door to connect with other single Latter-day Saints.
Fundamentally, this is the true purpose of flirting: It is simply the endeavor of trying to cultivate a connection with someone that we have not previously connected with. It is essentially a form and style of communication that helps us to align with someone. Flirting is the bridging of the gap between ourselves and other single Latter-day Saints within a romantic context.
Perhaps we might want to get to know someone a little better, and flirtatious conversation can indicate our interest. Or we might want to let a person we are attracted to feel special in some way, therefore boosting their confidence and level of comfort in our company. We may wish to progress an already established friendship in the direction of potential romance.
How to be flirty – Be yourself.
The most important thing you need to know about how to be flirty, is how crucial it is to really be yourself. Despite what certain dating websites and articles might tell you on how to be flirty, there is no need to start imitating someone else’s approach to dating. Not only will you run out of steam very quickly by doing so, but you may actually put off a potential match by being someone other than yourself.
You are an incredible person already. You don’t need to edit who you are to suit a template. If someone does not align with your beliefs and principles, then they are not the right person for you ultimately. Save yourself significant heartbreak later down the line by focusing on sharing the best of yourself. Let go of the script someone else has written - write your own instead!
With all that being said, this article on how to be flirty is here to provide tools for you to successfully flirt comfortably and appropriately. These tools on ‘How to be flirty’ are not rigid directions. They are supportive cues to help you develop your flirting skill so that you can approach other LDS singles you are attached to without feeling overwhelmed, as you might have experienced previously. Let’s dive in!
How to be flirty: Here are six tips for to get you started:
1- Master the art of listening. It can feel tempting to talk a lot when we meet someone we are attracted to. Partially, this might be from sheer excitement or sudden nerves. Or it may originate from an honest effort to hurriedly find topics of common ground. However, the strongest approach is to offer some great listening. Resist the temptation to interrupt with an anecdote that links to what the other person is telling you. Instead, ask open questions and really take in what they share with you. This is the true key to romantic connection.
2- Show your sunnier side. Complaining about your job or grumbling about the menu in front of you is not attractive, even to the most open minded of Latter-day Saints. Keep your woes to yourself for now and focus instead on the positives you see in your life and experiences. Doing so will signal to the other person that you appreciate the best of life which is a highly attractive quality. You can get into the deeper topics later on, when you know one another a little better. For now, celebrate the things (and people) you love!
3- Offer your full and undivided attention. You don’t need to try to maintain unbroken eye contact. In fact, doing so might be a little intimidating. What you need is to be generous with your attention and focus. Put your smartphone away out of sight where it won’t catch your eye with a distracting notification. Turn your shoulders towards the person you’re speaking to in order to signal that you’re genuinely interested in what they have to say. This applies whether you are on an actual date or simply approaching other LDS singles on TrueLDS for an initial conversation.
4 - Dress to impress yourself. In alignment with being authentically you, there is no need to dress to impress just for others. Instead, embrace outfit choices and grooming practices that make you feel good. If you feel good about how you look and feel, then your confidence levels will automatically match up. You will feel less self-conscious and may even feel calmer about approaching someone new. You are a wonderful person with a wealth of gifts to offer. Do whatever it takes to help someone else find that out!
5 - Remember that other single latter-day Saints are going through the same thing. None of us are born knowing how to be flirty, no of us hardwired to be good at flirting and dating. Some latter-day Saints will naturally have higher self-esteem than others which can make it seem as if the whole process of finding and building a successful relationship is somehow easier for everyone but you. Realistically, LDS singles from every walk of life will experience nerves and uncertainty at some point. The person you wish to flirt with may be just as nervous as you are under the surface. Try not to fixate on what you perceive you are not. Focus on the wealth of talent that you have to offer other latter-day Saints. You can even let potential suitors know that you are nervous, to break the ice. You might be surprised at how similarly you may both be feeling.
6 - Have a few flirty lines in reserve. We’ve all been faced with conversational situations where we have struggled to find the right words. It typically occurs when we are overwhelmed with nerves, such as when we try to flirt with someone. To avoid awkward pauses and unwanted silences, have a few open questions ready that will tide you over until you find your footing. Open questions teamed with a compliment will work well. An example would be, “I noticed you like to read, which is something I really love about you - who are your favorite writers?”. Flattery is a form of flirting that never gets old, when it’s done right.
Keep the end goal in mind.
The pursuit of love is not always as straight-forward as we might like it to be. We live in an age where we can order almost anything online with a few clicks of a cursor. Online dating has echoes of online shopping in its menu style ‘yes or no’ option format. However, all is not lost for the true romantics out there. There are literally thousands of latter-day Saints in the world who would like to meet a significant other. The dating world is still very much your oyster!
Use the tips and recommendations on how to be flirty within this article to boost your flirting confidence and level up your dating approach. As we explored earlier on, the most important ingredient within a successful approach to flirting is to truly remain authentic to who you are as a person. Pretending to be someone you’re not to impress someone will only deplete your energy. Let go of aiming to impress. Instead, focus on cultivating authentic connections.
You have stories to share that are unique to you. You have values that you have spent years developing. Your sense of humor is part of who you are as an individual. The right person will not only see and value the person you are, but help you to evolve also. Flirting really is just the first step on a continuing journey of relationship building when you find the right match for you.
If your initial attempts at flirtation don’t go well, don’t lose hope. Dating is a process of trial and error. Very few people fall for the first person they meet like they do in the movies. Meet different kinds of people and keep practicing your communication talents whenever you possibly can. Every experience has the potential to teach you something, just as every person you meet does also.
Do not make the mistake of sitting idle and waiting for all the planets to be aligned, until you make your move. The Lord expects you to do your part. As you align your will with the Lord’s will, ask the Lord to help you become better at approaching other LDS singles. Learn How to be flirty with the end goal in mind (https://speeches.byu.edu/talks/russell-m-nelson/begin-end-mind/)
Most of all—embrace the process of seeking someone special, someone the lord has in store for you. The right person is waiting and preparing to meet you. Once you remove the self-limiting ‘should’ of what you had expected flirting to look and feel like, you will be free to focus on making quality connections with other latter-day Saints, that are truly worth your precious time and energy. Enjoy the journey!
- Oct 19, 2020
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