StephanieH2988

I was a convert to the church when I was 14 years old. I went to BYU-I after graduating high school, but I almost immediately went back home to New York. The semester hadn't even started yet, but I had never been away from home before and was too homesick to enjoy my environment. After coming back to my family ward, I felt like a failure. All of my friends were away at school, dating and getting married and I eventually fell away from the church. At 21, I met my ex-husband. The next eight years were tumultuous at best. At 26 I had our first daughter, Grace. Fourteen months later I gave birth to our second daughter, Faith. Unfortunately, she had a MAJOR heart defect and ended up having open heart surgery at 3 weeks old and then spending the next 3 months in the Cardiac PICU. Faith went to be with Heavenly Father at ten months old. I felt forsaken. Over the next four years, I was extremely self-destructive. I did finally get a divorce after being separated for years, but it wasn't until 2019 when I developed a severe MRSA infection in my foot that I finally realized I had to pick myself up and start taking care of myself again. If not, Grace was going to lose her mom on top of her sister. I got out of the hospital in February 2020, and we all know what happened shortly after that, COVID. I was finally ready to make my peace with God and go back to church, and I couldn't. That was when I really realized how important the restored Gospel was to me. I knew from the bottom of my heart that I wanted Grace to grow up in the church and have that ward family that I had had as a teen. I knew she needed to learn about Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father just as much as I needed them in my life. We started studying at home and then when our ward opened again, I finally went back. It is one of the best decisions I've ever made for Grace and me. I've made poor choices in the past, but they have given me insight and empathy for others that I don't know I could have gained any other way. I love this gospel with all my heart and am striving to follow the covenant path these days.