How to have a perfect first in person meeting.
The first in-person meeting after dating online can be both exciting and nerve-wracking. Here are some tips to make it a positive experience:
1. It is Ok to be nervous. First dates are a little nerve wrecking for most LDS singles. Remember: your date is probably more nervous than you are.
2. Choose a comfortable location: Opt for a public place like a restaurant, or park for your first meeting. This provides a safe and relaxed environment to get to know each other better. To ensure a pleasant first date, choose something you both enjoy.
3. Keep it short and sweet: Plan for a relatively short first meeting, such as grabbing a bite to eat or taking a walk. This way, if things don't go as expected, it won't feel too awkward or uncomfortable.
4. Be yourself: It's natural to feel nervous, but try to relax and be yourself. Remember, your date is likely feeling the same way. Authenticity is key to forming genuine connections. Being your authentic self, of course does not mean that you should share your entire life’s story on a first date.
5. Listen actively: Show genuine interest in your date by actively listening to what they have to say. Ask open-ended questions and engage in meaningful conversation to foster a deeper connection. We all have to an extent have baggage and fall short of perfection But pay attention if your date is a well rounded person that his or her stuff together. Are there major unresolved issues in this person’s life, for example; not over an ex yet? Worthiness issues? Financial problems? Immaturity?
6. Stay safe: Prioritize your safety by letting a friend or family member know where you'll be and who you'll be meeting. Arrange your own transportation to and from the meeting place, and trust your instincts if something feels off. IF you perceive that your LDS date has made stuff up, remember that if you catch them in lies this early on it is only the tip of the iceberg.
Relationships are based on mutual respect for each others limits: Any form of coerciveness on a first date is a major red flag.
Do not feel obliged to share private information, such as your full name, home or work address.
Take a look at our article on online dating safety: How to stay safe whilst dating online.
7. Manage expectations: It is all too easy to create an overly rosy image in your head of potential suitors, when meeting other LDS singles online. Keep in mind that your online connection may be different in person. Be open to the possibility that things might not go exactly as planned on a first date. Approach the meeting with an open mind. Meeting other LDS singles online, can give you a good first impression, but to get the full picture it is necessary to spend a substantial amount of time together in person. Postpone falling in love, until you have met at least a few times in person.
8. Have an exit strategy: While you hope for the best, it's always good to have a plan in case the meeting doesn't go well. Have an excuse ready if you need to leave early, and don't hesitate to politely end the date if you're feeling uncomfortable.
9. Evaluation. Take a few days to let things sink in. How did they make you feel? Did you have fun? Did they make you smile? Share the experience with friends and family, what do they think? Spend some time alone, search your own mind; Ponder and pray about it; what thoughts and feeling come up? What is the Spirit telling you? Write down your thoughts in a journal. Did what they said resonate with you? Did you genuinely find him or her attractive? Would you possibly fit in each other’s lives?
If you can sincerely answer yes to the above questions, scheduling a second date might very well turn out to be the best decision you will ever make.
- Jun 13, 2024
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